HileThoughts

In the middle of our year, my Leadership St. Louis spend a weekend learning about race and exploring the racial divisions in our fair city. What I learned shocked me. What I felt humbled me. What I experienced changed me.

Contextually, this weekend comes at a time when the nation is about to get a president elected by the content of his character rather than the color of his skin. When race is a more frequent topic of discussion. When the local paper has launched a new blog to encourage a dialogue about racial issues. And, paradoxically, when there is an increase in the number of hate crimes.

Where I come from.

I was not raised in a household that told racist jokes or denigrated those whose race did not match our own. My only memory of this sort of speech was a single comment my material grandmother made. I do not remember the comment, but I do clearly remember my mother telling her that it was inappropriate.

On the other hand, mine was not a family that talked about racial issues at all. We lived in uniformly white neighborhoods, went to mostly all white schools, and attend a church with no black members.

In graduate school I was in a class of eight - four men, four women, one Chinese, one Japanese, one black, Protestants, Catholics, Jews, and atheists, folks from the East and West coasts and the Midwest, people who had gone strait through school, some with extensive work experience, some young and some old.  In all, a group very carefully selected for its apparent diversity.

Yet for all of this diversity, what I remember is how similar we were to one another. While I remember a split on whether Chinese or Japanese food was better - I do not recall any other discussions of how our different experiences impacted our work or our interactions. We took classes together, partied together, studied together, and all worked hard to succeed.

So,  before this weekend I would have said that prejudice still exists. That some still feel and practice it but that, for the most part, people would be embarrassed to do so. That logically prejudice makes no sense.

What I experienced.

Our weekend had a number of components - survey results, history lessons, local studies, experiences and discussions. Two, however stood out for me.

The first was called the Level Playing Field. We stood shoulder to shoulder holding hands. The facilitators read positive and negative life experiences (e.g., my family vacationed out of the country, my family could afford to pay for my college education, I did not have enough to eat as a child). If the positive item was true you took one step forward. If a negative items was true you took one step backward. At the end we turned to look about us.We were spread widely by our experiences.  However, all of our black classmates were in the back - behind all of our white classmates.

The second was a group discussion. As we talked each of the black classmates spoke of their fears when their sons went out. Fear that they would be arrested, abused, hurt - simply because of the color of their skin. I to have a son. I to worry about his safety when he goes out. So I understand how that feels. However, I never have to worry that the color of his skin will be the cause of that hurt or make being stopped more likely.

The weekend made me understand - in a way I had never had to consider before - that in our city, and by extension our country and world, prejudice is alive and well. The people I know and care about experience it daily. And that I needed to behave in a way that actively seeks to combat its practice and impact.

What can I do?

I do know I can start by talking with my black colleagues to see if there are things we need to address at work. I need to go to local traditionally black universities to actively recruit people to fill my positions. I can pay more attention. I can continue to speak up when I see things that are not as they should be. I can talk about the issue when no one else does. I can continue to learn about racial issues. I can continue to feel, in some small way, the pain and difficulties created by these attitudes and behaviors. Hopefully these steps will start me down a path so that I can make some impact on this foolish and disgraceful practice.

I just read Kate Lovelady’s (the Leader of the St. Louis Ethical Society) blog post discussing one of her new year’s resolutions to make sure her wishes to be an organ donor were recognized.

I checked the back of my license and saw that would not have helped - I would have to sign as well as two witnesses - that seems more dificult than it should be. While my family knows my wishes I decided to take Kate’s advise and visited this national site which has links to information from each of the various states.

Going to the Missouri link, I worked for a while and finally figured out how to register on the state’s web site. The usability of the site clearly has never been tested by watching real people try to walk through the process. They have managed to create a site that is well deigned to frustrate rather than help users. The ability to get to the pages is hidden, the text confusing, and trying to fill out the forms when you are able to get to them is counterintuitive. But, if you are persistent, you can in fact use it to register to make your wishes known.

So I did it - so can you. Find out how to register in your state and make your wishes known so that when you loose your life you can pass parts of it along to others in need.